How your baby and your body work together to make breastfeeding work

Once parents understand this, so much of the worry lifts, because they can see their body and their baby are designed to work together. Breastfeeding is not something you do to your baby. It is something you and your baby do together, as a partnership, each responding to the other. Understanding how that works takes a lot of the worry out of feeding, and it explains why responsive feeding matters so much.

Supply and demand

The heart of breastfeeding is beautifully simple. The more milk your baby removes, the more your body makes. Milk being taken from the breast is the signal to make more, and milk left sitting is the signal to make less. This is why feeding your baby whenever they are hungry, rather than by the clock, keeps your supply matched to your baby's needs.

It also explains why unnecessary top ups can quietly lower your supply, because milk your baby does not remove from you is milk your body is told not to make. You can read more in Is my milk supply low.

The hormones behind it

Two hormones do much of the work.

• Prolactin is the hormone that tells your body to make milk. Every time your baby feeds, prolactin rises, keeping your supply going.
• Oxytocin is the hormone that releases the milk, causing your let down. It is triggered by your baby suckling, and even by hearing or thinking about your baby. It is also the hormone of closeness and calm.

This is why being relaxed and close to your baby helps your milk flow, and why skin to skin is so powerful.

Your baby's part in it

Your baby is an active partner, not a passive one. They tell you what they need and they help shape your milk.

• They show feeding cues, such as stirring, rooting and bringing their hands to their mouth, letting you know they are ready.
• Their suckling drives the whole system, releasing your hormones and removing milk so more is made.
• Scientists believe that as your baby feeds, tiny signals pass from your baby back to your body, so your milk can adjust to what your baby needs, including making more antibodies when your baby is fighting an illness.

Your milk itself is a living fluid that responds to your baby, which you can read about in What is breast milk.

Why responsive feeding lets it work

Because the whole system runs on your baby's signals, the best thing you can do is follow them.

• Feed your baby when they show they are hungry, day and night.
• Let your baby finish a feed in their own time, rather than timing it.
• Expect frequent feeding and cluster feeding in the early weeks, as your baby builds your supply. You can read more in How often should a newborn feed and cluster feeding.
• Trust that you cannot spoil a baby by feeding them, and that responsive feeding is exactly what keeps your supply strong.

When the partnership needs a little help

Sometimes the working relationship between you and your baby needs support, for example if your baby is very sleepy, is not latching well, or is not removing milk effectively. When that happens, milk removal drops and supply can follow, so it is worth getting help early rather than waiting.

How a consultation helps

When feeding is not working, it is nearly always because something is getting in the way of this natural partnership. When I see you I find what that is, whether it is positioning, latch or how your baby is removing milk, and help you and your baby get back to working together.